Introduction: It has been six years since I wrote this poem. I have held on to it as I have held on to the pain that caused me to write it. It is my hope that as I release these words that it will help someone who is going through similar anguish…and that it will release me too. Much love, Holly.
FIELDS
My fields…
They were lovely.
You came.
You stood tall
Upon my hill.
You took me in.
My Hills
My Valleys
The wildflowers that spread
Over me like so many
Lovely freckles.
Trees, thick
Surrounded my
Fields.
Arms tight like a
Game of red rover.
My fields…
They were lovely
You said
As you took me in.
Trespassed my virgin
Grasses.
Breathed in my
Earthy smell.
You bought me.
Claimed me as you own.
Fenced me in
With razor wire.
Put in a gate.
Before long
You came in
And built a house…
A lovely house
With many windows
To gaze upon
My fields.
You brought your friends
To meet me.
They too were taken in
By my wildness.
My unkemptness.
You were so happy…
So proud of me then.
But…after a while
You started to compare.
You fantasized about
The well-kept lawns
You spied in the city.
You liked the way they
Displayed themselves.
Spread out before
Busy streets and passers by.
You wanted me,
In your heart,
To look like them.
Workers came.
They mowed my fields.
You wanted my grasses
Smooth and short.
I sacrificed my lovely flowers.
I wanted you to be happy.
It was enough
For a while…
Then, you felt fenced in
By the trees along my borders.
They were too confining.
No longer romantic
With their entwining arms.
You needed space.
The trees, too,
I sacrificed.
I was open.
Laid bare.
Looked like the manicured spaces
Of earth
That you admired.
But I was no longer
The beauty I was.
I changed.
For you.
But still
You were not pleased.
The sign was erected.
My borders measured.
The house locked up.
You moved away.
You needed a change.
Everything
You loved about me
Was gone
You said.
You changed me.
Made me into what you thought
Would please you.
Then discarded me
Because I wasn’t the same
As I was on that day
You first stood tall
On my fields…