Introduction:  It has been six years since I wrote this poem.  I have held on to it as I have held on to the pain that caused me to write it.  It is my hope that as I release these words that it will help someone who is going through similar anguish…and that it will release me too.  Much love, Holly.


My fields…

They were lovely.

You came.

You stood tall

Upon my hill.


You took me in.

My Hills

My Valleys

The wildflowers that spread

Over me like so many

Lovely freckles.


Trees, thick

Surrounded my


Arms tight like a

Game of  red rover.


My fields…

They were lovely

You said

As you took me in.

Trespassed my virgin


Breathed in my

Earthy smell.


You bought me.

Claimed me as you own.

Fenced me in

With razor wire.

Put in a gate.


Before long

You came in

And built a house…

A lovely house

With many windows

To gaze upon

My fields.


You brought your friends

To meet me.

They too were taken in

By my wildness.

My unkemptness.


You were so happy…

So proud of me then.


But…after a while

You started to compare.

You fantasized about

The well-kept lawns

You spied in the city.

You liked the way they

Displayed themselves.

Spread out before

Busy streets and passers by.


You wanted me,

In your heart,

To look like them.


Workers came.

They mowed my fields.

You wanted my grasses

Smooth and short.

I sacrificed my lovely flowers.

I wanted you to be happy.


It was enough

For a while…

Then, you felt fenced in

By the trees along my borders.

They were too confining.

No longer romantic

With their entwining arms.

You needed space.

The trees, too,

I sacrificed.


I was open.

Laid bare.

Looked like the manicured spaces

Of earth

That you admired.


But I was no longer

The beauty I was.

I changed.

For you.


But still

You were not pleased.


The sign was erected.

My borders measured.

The house locked up.

You moved away.


You needed a change.


You loved about me

Was gone

You said.


You changed me.

Made me into what you thought

Would please you.

Then discarded me

Because I wasn’t the same

As I was on that day

You first stood tall

On my fields…